{"id":6384,"date":"2020-05-12T18:31:32","date_gmt":"2020-05-12T18:31:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/?p=6384"},"modified":"2020-05-12T18:31:32","modified_gmt":"2020-05-12T18:31:32","slug":"co-nam-brani-v-seznamovani","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/co-nam-brani-v-seznamovani\/","title":{"rendered":"Co n\u00e1m br\u00e1n\u00ed v seznamov\u00e1n\u00ed?"},"content":{"rendered":" <p> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">U\u017e n\u011bjakou dobu se sna\u017e\u00edte naj\u00edt si partnera pro \u017eivot, ale neda\u0159\u00ed se v\u00e1m? Mo\u017en\u00e1 za sebou m\u00e1te p\u00e1r kr\u00e1tkodob\u00fdch vztah\u016f, ale nikdy to nevedlo d\u00e1l. Mo\u017en\u00e1 jste u\u017e n\u011bjakou dobu single, st\u00e1le chod\u00edte na prvn\u00ed rade, ale na druh\u00e9 u\u017e nedojde. Va\u0161i p\u0159\u00e1tele jsou u\u017e v\u0161ichni zadan\u00ed, ale vy z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1te sami.<\/span> <\/p> \n <p> &nbsp; <\/p> \n <p> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Prvn\u00ed, co \u010dlov\u011bka napadne pokud se dlouho nem\u016f\u017ee s n\u011bk\u00fdm sezn\u00e1mit, je ot\u00e1zka atraktivity. Fyzick\u00e1 atraktivita je to, co jist\u011b dok\u00e1\u017ee zap\u016fsobit na prvn\u00ed pohled. Toto prvotn\u00ed okouzlen\u00ed m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt z\u00e1rove\u0148 to jedin\u00e9, \u010d\u00edm tento \u010dlov\u011bk disponuje. Osobn\u00ed atraktivita pak zahrnuje postoje, z\u00e1jmy, hodnoty, n\u00e1zory nebo celkov\u00fd zp\u016fsob \u017eivota. Takov\u00e9 atributy osobnosti ov\u0161em pozn\u00e1v\u00e1me postupn\u011b a mnohdy to m\u016f\u017ee trvat dlouhou dobu, ne\u017e jim u druh\u00e9ho \u010dlov\u011bka porozum\u00edme. Mohli bychom tedy uva\u017eovat o tom, kolik \u0161anc\u00ed d\u00e1v\u00e1me druh\u00e9mu \u010dlov\u011bku k tomu, aby n\u00e1m mohl tohle v\u0161echno uk\u00e1zat. A na \u010dem z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed, \u017ee druh\u00e9mu d\u00e1me v\u00edce \u0161anc\u00ed na to, aby n\u00e1s \u201cokouzlil\u201d?\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n <p> &nbsp; <\/p> \n <p> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jedn\u00edm d\u016fvodem mohou b\u00fdt nap\u0159\u00edklad na\u0161e minul\u00e9 zku\u0161enosti, kter\u00e9 si sebou neseme z minul\u00fdch vztah\u016f. Takov\u00e9 zku\u0161enosti by se daly p\u0159irovnat k batohu, kter\u00fd si ka\u017ed\u00fd neseme na z\u00e1dech. Ten je napln\u011bn\u00fd zklam\u00e1n\u00edm, l\u00edtost\u00ed, nedodr\u017een\u00fdmi sliby, zran\u011bn\u00fdmi city, zka\u017een\u00fdmi sny, smutkem nebo nerealistick\u00fdm o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edm.\u00a0 Takov\u00fd batoh n\u00e1m soustavn\u011b p\u0159it\u011b\u017euje na cest\u011b za nov\u00fdmi vztahy. Jen si p\u0159edstavte, \u017ee jdete na v\u00fdlet, ale vl\u00e1\u010d\u00edte n\u00e1hradn\u00ed bundu, kdyby pr\u0161elo, opalovac\u00ed kr\u00e9m, kdyby sv\u00edtilo slunce, dal\u0161\u00ed mikinu, kdyby se ochladilo. Nakonec je batoh tak t\u011b\u017ek\u00fd, \u017ee ru\u0161\u00ed va\u0161i pozornost natolik, \u017ee si jen t\u011b\u017eko dok\u00e1\u017eete u\u017e\u00edvat kr\u00e1sn\u00fdch v\u00fdhled\u016f do p\u0159\u00edrody, kr\u00e1\u010det zlehka a naplno si u\u017e\u00edvat okam\u017eiku. Pokud se do p\u0159\u00ed\u0161t\u011b nepou\u010d\u00edme a nezhodnot\u00edme aktu\u00e1ln\u00ed po\u010das\u00ed tak, \u017ee si opravdu vezmeme jen to nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, budeme m\u00edt zka\u017een\u00fd dal\u0161\u00ed v\u00fdlet. Stejn\u011b tak funguje n\u00e1\u0161 emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed batoh ve vztaz\u00edch. Pokud nezpracuji minul\u00e9 vztahy, budou mi komplikovat vztahy budouc\u00ed. Klinick\u00fd psycholog Stephan Poulter ve sv\u00e9 knize o tom, jak zvl\u00e1dnout \u017eivot po rozchodu, upozor\u0148uje na to, \u017ee v\u0161e, co si z minul\u00fdch vztah\u016f neseme, ovliv\u0148uje jednak volbu dal\u0161\u00edho partnera, ale tak\u00e9 to, jak se v nov\u00e9m vztahu chov\u00e1me, jak\u00fd m\u00e1me v nov\u00e9m vztahu i mimo n\u011bj pohled sami na sebe. Kdy\u017e se zamysl\u00edme, vlastn\u011b to d\u00e1v\u00e1 smysl. Partnersk\u00fd vztah spoluvytv\u00e1\u0159\u00ed n\u00e1\u0161 pohled na sebe sama, proto\u017ee n\u00e1zor partnera na n\u00e1s samotn\u00e9, na\u0161e schopnosti, dovednosti, chov\u00e1n\u00ed, atraktivitu je pro n\u00e1s extr\u00e9mn\u011b d\u016fle\u017eit\u00fd. Dalo by se \u0159\u00edci, \u017ee je na\u0161\u00edm zrcadlem, a\u010d si to mnohdy nechceme p\u0159ipustit, ve vztahu nejsme dv\u011b samostatn\u00e9 jednotky, na\u0161e identita se do ur\u010dit\u00e9 m\u00edry prol\u00edn\u00e1. Rozchod tuto identitu naru\u0161\u00ed a \u010dlov\u011bk si ji mus\u00ed vybudovat znovu. Znovu pochybuje o sv\u00e9 sebejistot\u011b, znovu hled\u00e1 schopnosti, kter\u00e9 ve vztahu nevyu\u017e\u00edval, jakoby se vr\u00e1til do puberty. A vzpome\u0148te si, jak n\u00e1ro\u010dn\u00e9 bylo v t\u00e9 dob\u011b \u201coslnit\u201d druh\u00e9 pohlav\u00ed.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n <p> <img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6386\" src=\"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/bar-406884_1920.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1280\" \/> <\/p> \n <p> &nbsp; <\/p> \n <p> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Neochota vstupovat do nov\u00e9ho prost\u0159ed\u00ed, neschopnost zm\u011bnit svoji negativn\u00ed vlastnost, ale i p\u0159ekon\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed odli\u0161n\u00fdch n\u00e1zor\u016f, pozn\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed druh\u00e9ho, hled\u00e1n\u00ed spole\u010dn\u00fdch t\u00e9mat. To v\u0161echno je t\u011b\u017ek\u00e1 pr\u00e1ce, proto n\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed hledaj\u00ed d\u016fvod\u016f pro\u010d n\u011bco nejde, co se mu na druh\u00e9m nel\u00edb\u00ed a jak\u00e9 dal\u0161\u00ed okolnosti rande kazily, proto\u017ee je jednodu\u0161\u0161\u00ed vid\u011bt chybu u druh\u00fdch. Trefn\u011b je takov\u00fd p\u0159\u00edstup sehr\u00e1n Chandlerem z popul\u00e1rn\u00edho seri\u00e1lu P\u0159\u00e1tele v d\u00edle, kter\u00fd opakovan\u011b bojoval s vlastn\u00edmi obavami z v\u00e1\u017en\u00e9ho vztahu. Jist\u011b to neznamen\u00e1, \u017ee pokud si s n\u011bk\u00fdm nerozum\u00edme, je to va\u0161e chyba, proto\u017ee se dostate\u010dn\u011b nesna\u017e\u00edte. Sp\u00ed\u0161e si ka\u017ed\u00fd ne\u00fasp\u011bch \u010di komunika\u010dn\u00ed nedorozum\u011bn\u00ed zp\u011btn\u011b st\u0159\u00edzliv\u011b zhodno\u0165te. Z prvn\u00edho \u010dl\u00e1nku na\u0161eho Vztahov\u00e9ho pr\u016fvodce jste se mohli nau\u010dit otev\u0159en\u011b nahl\u00ed\u017eet sami na sebe, b\u00fdt k sob\u011b up\u0159\u00edmn\u00ed a pojmenov\u00e1vat i nep\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9 v\u011bci ve va\u0161em chov\u00e1n\u00ed, te\u010f ide\u00e1ln\u00ed chv\u00edle tuto schopnost vyzkou\u0161et.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n <p> &nbsp; <\/p> \n <p> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Vstupov\u00e1n\u00ed do nov\u00fdch vztah\u016f \u010dasto znamen\u00e1 tak\u00e9 vystupov\u00e1n\u00ed z vlastn\u00ed komfortn\u00ed z\u00f3ny. Vystoupit z toho, co zn\u00e1me, co je pohodln\u00e9 a nem\u016f\u017ee n\u00e1s p\u0159ekvapit, a\u0165 u\u017e pozitivn\u011b \u010di negativn\u011b, je velmi obt\u00ed\u017en\u00e9. Pokud se \u010dlov\u011bk \u0159\u00edd\u00ed dle r\u010den\u00ed \u201ckdo nic ned\u011bl\u00e1, nic nezkaz\u00ed\u201d, tak\u00e9 se nikam d\u00e1l nedostane. Zkou\u0161ejte to, bu\u010fte otev\u0159en\u00ed seznamov\u00e1n\u00ed s nov\u00fdmi lidmi, nehledejte pouze nov\u00e9ho partnera, nechte se jak\u00fdmikoliv nov\u00fdmi vztahy pou\u010dit a roz\u0161\u00ed\u0159it v\u00e1\u0161 pohled na sv\u011bt. Na rande m\u016f\u017eete j\u00edt i s \u010dlov\u011bkem, o kter\u00e9m v\u00edte, \u017ee byste ho za partnera necht\u011bli. M\u016f\u017eete tak z\u00edskat par\u0165\u00e1ka na squash nebo na v\u00fdlety po okol\u00ed, budete tr\u00e9novat sv\u00e9 soci\u00e1ln\u00ed dovednosti, um\u011bn\u00ed dialogu a dal\u0161\u00ed dovednosti, kter\u00e9 v\u00e1m mohou b\u00fdt prosp\u011b\u0161n\u00e9 ve chv\u00edli, kdy na \u201ctoho prav\u00e9ho\u201d naraz\u00edte. <\/span> <\/p> \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" <p> U\u017e n\u011bjakou dobu se sna\u017e\u00edte naj\u00edt si partnera pro \u017eivot, ale neda\u0159\u00ed se v\u00e1m? Mo\u017en\u00e1 za sebou m\u00e1te p\u00e1r kr\u00e1tkodob\u00fdch vztah\u016f, ale nikdy to nevedlo d\u00e1l. Mo\u017en\u00e1 jste u\u017e n\u011bjakou dobu single, st\u00e1le chod\u00edte na prvn\u00ed rade, ale na druh\u00e9 u\u017e nedojde. Va\u0161i p\u0159\u00e1tele jsou u\u017e v\u0161ichni zadan\u00ed, ale vy z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1te sami. &nbsp; Prvn\u00ed, co &hellip; <\/p> \n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":6385,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[87,117],"tags":[118],"table_tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6384"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6388,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6384\/revisions\/6388"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6385"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6384"},{"taxonomy":"table_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/table_tags?post=6384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}