{"id":6402,"date":"2020-07-08T20:07:24","date_gmt":"2020-07-08T20:07:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/?p=6402"},"modified":"2020-07-08T20:07:24","modified_gmt":"2020-07-08T20:07:24","slug":"jak-si-vybirame-partnera","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/jak-si-vybirame-partnera\/","title":{"rendered":"Jak si vyb\u00edr\u00e1me partnera?"},"content":{"rendered":"

V posledn\u00edm \u010dl\u00e1nku s n\u00e1zvem \u201cCo n\u00e1m br\u00e1n<\/a><\/span>\u00ed v seznamov\u00e1n<\/span>\u00ed<\/span>\u201d jsme mluvili o p\u0159ek\u00e1\u017ek\u00e1ch, kter\u00e9 si stav\u00edme je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159ed t\u00edm, ne\u017e se s n\u011bk\u00fdm sezn\u00e1m\u00edme nebo ne\u017e do n\u011bjak\u00e9ho vztahu vstoup\u00edme. V na\u0161em seri\u00e1lu jako dal\u0161\u00ed\u00a0 logicky z\u00e1vazn\u00e9 t\u00e9ma vidime to, podle \u010deho si partnera vyb\u00edr\u00e1me. Hled\u00e1me u sv\u00e9ho prot\u011bj\u0161ku konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed vlastnosti? Nebo jsou d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 z\u00e1jmy? Finance? Spole\u010densk\u00e9 postaven\u00ed? Partnerova \u010di partner\u010dina rodina?\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n

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Jako prvn\u00ed rozli\u0161ovac\u00ed strategii odborn\u00edci jmenuj\u00ed prost\u00e9 sympatie. Sympatie vznik\u00e1 na z\u00e1klad\u011b podobnosti, kterou hled\u00e1me v n\u00e1zorech na d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 v\u011bci, na hudbu, politick\u00fd n\u00e1zor, dom\u00e1c\u00edho mazl\u00ed\u010dka a v mnoh\u00fdch dal\u0161\u00edch v\u011bcech. Spole\u010dn\u00e9 z\u00e1jmy hraj\u00ed svou roli p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm z dlouhodob\u00e9ho pohledu na partnerstv\u00ed. Krom\u011b jasn\u00e9 souvislosti ve spole\u010dn\u00e9m tr\u00e1ven\u00ed voln\u00e9ho \u010dasu, stejn\u00fd pohled na v\u011bc p\u0159isp\u00edv\u00e1 k soudr\u017enosti vztahu a p\u0159edpokl\u00e1d\u00e1 tak\u00e9 schopnost naj\u00edt snadn\u011bj shodu.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n

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Nab\u00edz\u00ed se zamy\u0161len\u00ed nad obecn\u011b zn\u00e1m\u00fdm n\u00e1zorem, \u017ee v\u011bt\u0161ina mu\u017e\u016f p\u00e1tr\u00e1 po n\u011bkom, kdo bude podobn\u00fd matce a \u017eeny po mu\u017ei, kter\u00fd je podobn\u00fd otci. Toto \u00fadajn\u011b plat\u00ed v 80% p\u0159\u00edpad\u016f a zbyl\u00fdch 20% si podv\u011bdom\u011b vyb\u00edr\u00e1 \u00fapln\u00fd opak sv\u00fdch rodi\u010d\u016f. V t\u00e9to teorii je d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 slovo \u201cpodv\u011bdom\u011b\u201d. P\u0159i v\u00fdb\u011bru partnera obvykle nem\u00e1me v\u011bdom\u011b pojmenov\u00e1no to, v \u010dem by se partner m\u011bl \u010di nem\u011bl rodi\u010d\u016fm podobat. Nen\u00ed to tedy n\u011bco, co bychom tak \u00fapln\u011b m\u011bli pod kontrolou. I proto jsme n\u011bkdy po letech p\u0159ekvapen\u00ed z toho, \u017ee chov\u00e1n\u00ed partnerky, kter\u00e9 n\u00e1s roz\u010diluje je p\u0159esn\u011b to, co jsme nesn\u00e1\u0161eli na sv\u00e9 matce.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n

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Dal\u0161\u00edm nev\u011bdom\u00fdm faktorem, kter\u00fd m\u016f\u017ee n\u00e1\u0161 v\u00fdb\u011br ovlivnit, je dle v\u011bdc\u016f tak\u00e9 na\u0161e po\u0159ad\u00ed mezi sourozenci a to, zda m\u00e1me sestru \u010di bratra. Dopl\u0148kovost rol\u00ed m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt v\u00fdhodou ve vz\u00e1jemn\u00e9m porozum\u011bn\u00ed mezi partnery. Tedy situace, kdy si \u017eena, kter\u00e1 m\u00e1 star\u0161\u00ed bratry, vybere mu\u017ee, kter\u00fd m\u00e1 mlad\u0161\u00ed sestry a dal\u0161\u00ed zrcadlov\u00e9 vzorce. Nicm\u00e9n\u011b ani tady nelze jmenovat, kter\u00e1 partnersk\u00e1 sestava zaru\u010d\u00ed ide\u00e1ln\u00ed sou\u017eit\u00ed. Nelze tedy v\u00fdznam sourozeneck\u00e9 konstelace p\u0159ece\u0148ovat, d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e1 je sp\u00ed\u0161e konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed \u017eivotn\u00ed situace. V\u0161e z d\u011btstv\u00ed a rodinn\u00fdch vztah\u016f n\u00e1s ovliv\u0148uje, ani\u017e bychom si to uv\u011bdomovali. Je tedy dobr\u00e9 bavit se s potenci\u00e1ln\u00edm partnerem o jeho \u010di jej\u00ed prim\u00e1rn\u00ed rodin\u011b. V\u0161\u00edmejte si toho, jak mluv\u00ed o rodi\u010d\u00edch, sourozenc\u00edch, jejich vztaz\u00edch, ritu\u00e1lech \u010di rodinn\u00fdch tradic\u00edch.<\/span> <\/p> \n

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Aby toho nebylo m\u00e1lo, n\u00e1\u0161 v\u00fdb\u011br je tak\u00e9 ovlivn\u011bn biologicky. Podle t\u00e9to teorie jsou vz\u00e1jemn\u011b p\u0159itahov\u00e1n\u00ed partne\u0159i s rozd\u00edlnou genetickou z\u00e1kladnou. Vysv\u011btlen\u00edm pak je to, \u017ee nev\u011bdom\u011b chceme sv\u00e9mu potomkovi zajistit co nejrozmanit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed genetickou v\u00fdbavu. Z\u00e1rove\u0148 tato preference \u0159\u00edzen\u00e1 geny nebere v \u00favahu to, zda s partnerem budeme schopni m\u00edt stabiln\u00ed a spokojen\u00fd vztah. Spol\u00e9hat se tedy p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm na takzvanou \u201cchemii\u201d ve vztahu tak\u00e9 nen\u00ed nejlep\u0161\u00ed strategi\u00ed pro v\u00fdb\u011br celo\u017eivotn\u00edho partnera.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n

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Seznamky n\u011bkdy nab\u00edzej\u00ed zaru\u010den\u00fd \u00fasp\u011bch d\u00edky vypln\u011bn\u00ed testu, kter\u00fd najde ide\u00e1ln\u00ed partnerskou shodu. Zd\u00e1 se to jako zaru\u010den\u00e1 metoda. Podle z\u00e1jm\u016f, preferenc\u00ed \u010di obecn\u00e9ho sv\u011bton\u00e1zoru jsou identifikov\u00e1n\u00ed dva lid\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed budou stejn\u011b nalad\u011bn\u00ed, budou m\u00edt stejn\u00e9 z\u00e1jmy a pohled na \u017eivot….Pokud jste u\u017e n\u011bco podobn\u00e9ho zkusili, ur\u010dit\u011b jste zjistili, \u017ee takto jednoduch\u00fd v\u00fdb\u011br partnera nen\u00ed. Stejn\u011b tak, jako se sna\u017e\u00edme upozornit v na\u0161em \u010dl\u00e1nku, lidi bohu\u017eel nejde str\u010dit do krabi\u010dky, vyjmenovat jej\u00ed obsah a \u010dekat, a\u017e se najde jin\u00e1 krabi\u010dka, kter\u00e1 sv\u00fdm obsahem jen dopln\u00ed voln\u00e1 m\u00edsta prvn\u00ed krabi\u010dky. D\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 jsou souvislosti obsahu t\u00e9to krabi\u010dky. P\u0159edstavte si krabi\u010dku s d\u011btsk\u00fdmi kosti\u010dkami, kter\u00e9 maj\u00ed r\u016fzn\u00e9 barvy i tvary. A\u010d jedna kosti\u010dka zapadne do pr\u00e1zdn\u00e9ho m\u00edsta spr\u00e1vn\u00e9ho tvaru, nemus\u00ed soused\u00edc\u00ed kosti\u010dky ladit sv\u00fdmi barvami. Obdobn\u00e9 je to s lidmi. M\u016f\u017eeme m\u00edt stejn\u00e9 z\u00e1jmy, p\u0159esto tam nemus\u00ed \u201cn\u011bco nesed\u011bt\u201d. Um\u011bt pojmenovat tyto souvislosti v\u0161ak m\u016f\u017ee pomoci k v\u011bt\u0161\u00edmu vz\u00e1jemn\u00e9mu porozum\u011bn\u00ed a schopnosti naj\u00edt spole\u010dnou cestu. V\u00fdb\u011br partnera tedy nen\u00ed z\u00e1le\u017eitost\u00ed statistik, v\u00fdpo\u010dt\u016f nebo jasn\u011b dan\u00fdch vzorc\u016f. Podle v\u00fdzkumu v\u011bdc\u016f z Univerzity Karlovy se tak\u00e9 p\u0159edstava ide\u00e1ln\u00edho partnera v pr\u016fb\u011bhu vztahu m\u011bn\u00ed. Zm\u011bny preferenc\u00ed jsou d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 pro udr\u017een\u00ed vztahu. Jednak hraje roli na\u0161e vlastn\u00ed dozr\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed a to, jak jsme my sami vztahem utv\u00e1\u0159eni a pak je tu v\u00fdvoj na\u0161ich postoj\u016f k d\u016fle\u017eitosti jednotliv\u00fdch charakteristik a o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed od partnera. Jednodu\u0161e v pr\u016fb\u011bhu vztahu upravujeme, jak\u00e9 rozd\u00edly mezi ide\u00e1ln\u00edm a re\u00e1ln\u00fdm partnerem jsou pro n\u00e1s a udr\u017een\u00ed na\u0161eho vztahu d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9, a kter\u00e9 d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 nejsou.\u00a0<\/span> <\/p> \n

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Nenechte se tedy hned na prvn\u00edm rande odradit t\u00edm, \u017ee v\u00e1s nezaplavil pocit \u201cto je ON\/ONA\u201d. Dejte tomu \u0161anci a hledejte odpov\u011bdi na ot\u00e1zky, kter\u00e9 ve v\u00e1s vyvol\u00e1vaj\u00ed va\u0161e nejasn\u011b pojmenovan\u00e9 pocity. T\u0159eba si v\u00e1s partner pokl\u00e1d\u00e1 ty stejn\u00e9 ot\u00e1zky a m\u00e1 ty stejn\u00e9 obavy, jako m\u00e1te vy. T\u0159eba p\u0159i rozkr\u00fdv\u00e1n\u00ed vlastn\u00edch nev\u011bdom\u00fdch vzorc\u016f chov\u00e1n\u00ed a o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed, najdete vysv\u011btlen\u00ed pro chov\u00e1n\u00ed a postoje va\u0161eho partnera, kter\u00e9 se r\u00e1zem nebudou zd\u00e1t tak neslu\u010diteln\u00e9 s va\u0161imi.<\/span> <\/p> \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

V posledn\u00edm \u010dl\u00e1nku s n\u00e1zvem \u201cCo n\u00e1m br\u00e1n\u00ed v seznamov\u00e1n\u00ed\u201d jsme mluvili o p\u0159ek\u00e1\u017ek\u00e1ch, kter\u00e9 si stav\u00edme je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159ed t\u00edm, ne\u017e se s n\u011bk\u00fdm sezn\u00e1m\u00edme nebo ne\u017e do n\u011bjak\u00e9ho vztahu vstoup\u00edme. V na\u0161em seri\u00e1lu jako dal\u0161\u00ed\u00a0 logicky z\u00e1vazn\u00e9 t\u00e9ma vidime to, podle \u010deho si partnera vyb\u00edr\u00e1me. Hled\u00e1me u sv\u00e9ho prot\u011bj\u0161ku konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed vlastnosti? Nebo jsou d\u016fle\u017eit\u00e9 … <\/p> \n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":6403,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[117],"tags":[116],"table_tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6402"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6402"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6407,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6402\/revisions\/6407"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6402"},{"taxonomy":"table_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yellobar.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/table_tags?post=6402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}